Casio

Casio uses elephant tusks to make the plastic for its keyboards.

FedEx

FedEx licks every package it handles.

Samsung

Samsung phones can be used as boomerangs.

Coca-Cola

The Coca-Cola Company's first product was a tree house kit. It wasn't until the late 1980's that it moved into the motorcycle repair business, which it is famous for today.

K-Mart

K-Mart's stores are big because their employees need places to hide while they are crying.

Victoria's Secret

Victoria's Secret secretly makes male panties.

BMW

BMW is building a car that hates chocolate ice cream.

Sun Microsystems

Sun Microsystems has a computer that eats IBM computer-babies.

Hasbro

Hasbro fills its Mr. Potato Head toys with heroin.

AOL

AOL has cooties.

BIC

BIC stands for BIC Ink Cancer which stands for BIC Ink Causes Ink Cancer.

McDonald's

McDonald's owns your family.

Hertz

Hertz rental cars are unable to go more than 45 MPH.

Microsoft

Microsoft wets the bed.

Sony

Sony is developing an alternate universe to be inhabited solely by acronyms commonly used in instant messaging conversations.

CitiGroup

CitiGroup's custodial staff is comprised entirely of Oompa Loompas.