Saturday, August 13, 2005

Gatorade

Gatorade is urine.

posted by soap equal signs at 7:10 PM 1 comments

The Home Depot

The Home Depot has a secret agenda to promote promiscuity.

posted by say a suit at 3:48 PM 2 comments

Anheuser Busch

Anheuser Busch builds its factories on toxic waste dumps.

posted by septic emergency at 3:41 PM 0 comments

Friday, August 12, 2005

Johnson & Johnson

Johnson & Johnson used to be Johnson & Johnson & Johnson.

posted by soap equal signs at 6:26 PM 1 comments

Exxon Mobil

Exxon Mobil is part-owned by aliens.

posted by say a suit at 3:57 PM 3 comments

IBM

IBM has a computer that makes babies.

posted by septic emergency at 11:54 AM 0 comments

AT&T

AT&T has listened to every phone conversation you've ever had.

posted by say a suit at 11:38 AM 1 comments

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Nike

Nike serves bees in its cafeteria.

posted by say a suit at 5:01 PM 0 comments

General Motors

General Motors refuses to pay its electricity bill.

posted by soap equal signs at 4:40 PM 0 comments

Duane Reade

Duane Reade stockpiles nuclear weapons in its pharmacy.

posted by septic emergency at 4:07 PM 1 comments

StarKist

The StarKist tuna company breeds extra dolphins to put in their fishing nets to die.

posted by say a suit at 3:56 PM 0 comments

JetBlue

JetBlue's snacks are made from old planes.

posted by soap equal signs at 2:01 PM 0 comments

Starbucks

Starbucks injects 0.01% poison into every cup of coffee.

posted by septic emergency at 12:38 PM 1 comments

Dove

Dove uses real birds in their soap.

posted by soap equal signs at 12:14 PM 2 comments

General Electric

All General Electric dishwashers break after 316 days.

posted by say a suit at 10:55 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Cingular

A Cingular sales associate beat me with a baseball bat when I asked him if my calling plan qualifies for rollover minutes.

posted by septic emergency at 2:12 PM 0 comments

Hershey's

Hershey's doesn't have soap in their employee restrooms.

posted by soap equal signs at 1:13 PM 1 comments

Goodyear

Goodyear stole my dad's idea for the Aquatred Tire.

posted by say a suit at 12:09 AM 3 comments